I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
