Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
