Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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