just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
