Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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