i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
