after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
