End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
