hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
