is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
