I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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