? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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