Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
