Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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