i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
