the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
