white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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