The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
