I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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