I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
