Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
i now understand why vodka
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
