living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
