It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
