Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
