I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
