Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
