I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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