smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
