You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
