he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
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