This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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