Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
