Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
