Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
