I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
