Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize