It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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