I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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