He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
