dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
