I'm laying in your front yard are you home
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Come share oat with me in your robe
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
