I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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