Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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