my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
