is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
