There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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