if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
