Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
