Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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