What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
